We know too much?

My friend Brenda posted something on her facebook page today - an article saying that older people know too much - their working memory is cluttered with too much experience and they need to declutter their minds in order to retain all their memory function.
Read it here - it is great!

http://www.iol.co.za/lifestyle/older-people-just-know-too-much-1.1062888

I love the idea! I often say to kids I haven't forgotten anything, but that my "hard drive" is so full that it takes me a while to access the information. I kind of thought that was it - there was so much in my head that I would increasingly find it hard to remember where things had been stored.

But now I realise I need to delete, declutter, re-format, throw away all the stuff I don't need any more and keep my working memory full of energy and fun.

What shall I throw away - it's easy in my house - if I haven't used it for 2 years, it can go (not that it ever does). But how do I know what to keep, what might come in handy some day, what someone might ask me and then think I'm suffering from senile dementia when I can't give them an answer?

I'm going to start by deleting the memories that make me feel bad - the times when I screwed up, said something inappropriate or wrong, the squirm-making memories, the times soemone made me miserable. Then I'm going to delete all the unnecesary stuff I learnt in Biology, Science, Maths, Geography, Psychology - at school and in my tertiary studies. After all, why try and remember - what is Google for, after all? And then I'm going to delete all the fears and concerns for the future - after all, it's going to happen anyway!

How am I going to do it? - I don't know. The article suggests getting enough sleep, meditating and doing crosswords, puzzles and playing a musical instrument as ways of decluttering the mind. No problem with the first since I "recycled" my life, and I had planned to go back to playing the piano. I need to push that plan up a bit and get my piano re-felted soon so I can start playing.

So mind - watch out, because I'm coming in with my vacuum cleaner, recycling bags and dustpan! You have been warned - a de-clutter is about to happen!

Royal Wedding

Last night I vowed I had better things to do with my day than watch the Royal Wedding. So did Sihle. But come 11.00am, we were sitting in the lounge watching the princes roll down the Mall in their cars. It just "happened". I logged on to the Internet to do some work, and saw something on MSN that said there was a live feed - so I took my computer and sat in the lounge, thinking I'd work and just "glance up" every now and then. Sihle came in to offer me some tea, perched on the edge of a chair - just "briefly" - and was still there an hour later, tea forgotten. Nolwazi arrived to visit, and was soon sucked into the spectacle - we were together in London 4 years ago, and she kept saying, "We were there!" Lindi stumbled in after her shower, and soon she was also engrossed. And then we got an SMS from Andiswa who was also with us overseas, saying why did we go in 2008 - why didn't we wait till now?

We "oohed" and "aahed" when we saw the lovely bridesmaids dress and then saw Kate. We laughed at the crazy hats - how about that one that looked like "tongues of fire" stuck to the side of her head. She should lend it to the Archbishop of Canterbury for Pentecost! - we giggled at the buses bringing the guests, we wondered where the little flower girls had gone during the service. Lindi, Nolwazi and I had all sung "I was glad" at ordination about 5 years ago, so that was a special moment for us. We enjoyed the choir boys - especially the Oriental one with glasses - and all four of us sang along to "Jerusalem."

How was it to share something so essentially British with 3 young African people, far away from where it was all happenning. I think we shared in it all, because we all like Fairy Tales. And this was a fairy tale of note - beautiful bride, kind-of-handsome-if-balding Prince, trumpets, carriages with horses all in formation, people shouting and cheering, the odd glimpse of a celeb - it was all there. Even the ugly step-mom. (I will never think of Camilla as Queen material, although there was a lovely scene with her and her grand-daughter, the youngest bridesmaid, on the balcony - it made her almost human.)

About 20 mins into the spectacle, I closed my laptop and said "Who am I kidding - I'm enjoying this!" And I'm glad I did.

Friends

When Pete turned 60, I decided to invite 60 people to share his birthday with him. A colleague said "Surely you don't have 60 friends to invite? I don't have 60 friends." She went on to say that as some of her friends had emigrated and some had died, she didn't bother to make new ones - friends were just too much trouble.

How sad - to live for 60 years and not have at least 60 friends. I have old friends (in age and length of time I've known them) and young friends, and friends of my children's who became my friends, and friends I have met recently. There's Alex the car guard at the gym, who I count as one of my friends. He wasn't there today, and I felt quite resentful of the girl with the pony tail who was there in his place. There are friends I don't see for years, and when we meet up again, it's as though we have never been apart. There are people who share a particular part of my life or my history, and so are special to me. And there are my friends who are also family - my kids, my sister, my huband.

How do you define a friend? I don't know - is it someone who you know really, really well, and who is intimate with all parts of your life? Someone who makes you feel friendly? Someone whose name you know? Someone who adds something to your life? Do you only say people are your friends if you have known them a certain amount of time? I don't think so.

I am so blessed with the many friends I have. I never feel alone, because there are so many special people in my life. We shared dinner with three of them tonight - Mike and Elaine Smallbones and Mike Ford - what a special meal, sharing a couple of bottles of wine and lots of talk.

How many friends do you have?

Freedom Day

A Freedom Day brunch with our dear friends Rod and Fi and a group of mutual friends, set me thinking.

Firstly, Fi asked me to help her set up a blog, because she has been following the blog of a friend in Canada. She (Nicky) wants to write, and is using her daily blog to share what she is doing and to practise her writing. I thought about this Blog which I set up to show my students how easy it is to do, and then never wrote on it.

So - Freedom Day in South Africa. Is it just an annoying "blip" in the middle of a week that already has too many holidays? Is it a chance to kick back, eat too much - again - and spend time with friends? Is it a reminder of the "loss of freedom" so many of my white friends complain about? Is it about service delivery, or lack of it, municipal elections, politics? Is it trying to re-capture that heady day in 1994 when we sat in front of the TV all day, watching what was going on at the Union Buildings, and glowing with pride at being South Africans?

What has changed in 17 years? Is life better for South Africans? For me? For Nic and Ray, all the way in New Zealand? For Sihle, at Varsity and finishing his degree? For Kev, at a multi-cultural Boys' High?

I don't know - life is just life. I'm still proud of being a South African. I still get pissed off when I can't let my dog run on the grass in Alex Park next to the Soccer Stadium, because there is so much broken glass in the grass, or when there is more rubbish next to the bin than in it. I still hate politicians - no matter what their politics or colour - when they talk bullshit. I still hate racists who pretend they aren't. I still love it when the car guard calls me "gogo" and gives me a big grin, or when the car guard at the gym - who's name is Alex and who comes from Zimbabwe - asks me if I had a good workout. I still love being with friends who don't always think the way I do. I love my life - I get on with it - this is home, and I belong here.

So Freedom Day - thanks for the remionder that I am a free SouthAfrican.